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Friday, November 07, 2008
Name That Band
2:48 PM
allmusic review, with names removed. can you name the band? no fair googling. :)
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Many critics, fans, and college students have spent hours debating the serious question of what the worst album in the history of rock actually is. One listen to [BAND NAME] would provide them with a definitive answer. [ALBUM TITLE] undoubtedly is the worst album released in the history of rock & roll -- hell, the history of recorded music itself. There have been many bad ideas in rock, but none match the colossal stupidity of [BAND NAME]. There's a reason why they're the only heavy rock organ-and-drums duo in the history of rock & roll -- it's an atrocious combination. Organ and drum combos work well in jazz, because the musicians know how to balance the dynamics of the two instruments, but in this group of [HISTORICAL GROUP OF PEOPLE], it becomes an unbearable, unholy noise. [ORGAN PLAYER/VOCALIST] decided that the only way a keyboardist could compete with the guitarists popping up in Hendrix's wake was to rig his organ with piles of effects pedals, Leslie organs, distortion, and wah-wah -- and use them all at once while he yells, not sings, and [DRUMMER] flails away haplessly at his drums. It's impossible to make out the riffs, since the organ just sounds like a wall of white noise, and there are no melodies, only shouting. Everything is turned to 11 -- because it's one louder than ten, innit? -- and even when the group tries out a different, slower style, it still sounds the same, because the instrumentation, attack, and effects never change. By the end of the album, it feels as if a drill has punctured the center of your skull -- it's that piercing, painful, and monotonous. [ORGAN PLAYER/VOCALIST] has gone on record describing the results as "psychedelic bullsh*t." Remove the word "psychedelic" and you have an accurate description of the album. [By the way, [ORGAN PLAYER/VOCALIST] and [DRUMMER] are dressed as [HISTORICAL GROUP OF PEOPLE] on the cover. For some reason, they're standing in a meat locker. It's as if the duo unconsciously knew they were creating the most ridiculous album package in rock & roll history.]
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Answer here. But don't spoil it for everyone!

1 Comment(s):

Blogger arratik: heh. i have a rip of that album somewhere if you want it. it does suck pretty hard.

11/07/2008 8:14 PM 

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